Traffic Sucks

The traffic in town was absolutely terrible today. It's like no one realizes that two highways run through the city, so they all take the actual roads, and move at a snail's pace through the millions of traffic lights in town when they could be zooming by at 70+ mph.

I took my grandma to the Dodge dealership to get her new car today, and a bright blue beauty caught my eye: a new Dodge Challenger with black racing stripes and a hemi. Hello, lover. Time to go find me a sugar daddy...

Frozen

Everyone around the neighborhood is super pumped because the lake is finally frozen, and we can skate! WHEEEEE! That's pretty much the most exciting thing going on around town right now, besides everyone leaving for the holidays - thank God. Did I say that out loud?

Holidays

With the holidays coming up, you can bet your sweet ass that traffic across Livingston County will suck your sweet ass. Barricade yourselves in your homes if you don't want to deal with the wonders of Michigan drivers. I swear, we're the worst in the world. It's practically the law: in Michigan, you must be a shitty driver to survive. And believe you me, I can out-shit the shittiest of shit-tastic drivers.

I'm sitting at school, where I do most of my blog posts for my normal blog (this is Shelby, FYI). But, any who, the scoop on Brighton High. I wish i didn't go here. But, two kids got into a big fight, like three people had to break it up.

Oh, and I've gotten a "Wow" so far for wearing black lipstick and striving to be different in this shit hole of a town. I'm not kidding, I've gotten a few glares from the rich girls with their new cars, plastic noses and UGG boots. Which clearly stands for Ugly. Ah, yes. The beauty of Whiten.

As Promised...

Freaks of Suburbia present the extremely unofficial music video for Rabbits are Roadkill on Route 37, by AFI (song not included). Enjoy!

LEMUR

On our visit to Michael's Craft Store, we saw a car with a license plate that said LEMUR. I am not making this up. I told Shelby to take a picture, but she was like, "I will when we come back." When we came out of the store, LEMUR was gone.

The real drama happened inside the store. We came across some wind-up toys that did very cool tricks. Video to follow, I promise.

Just another crazyfun day in Brighton.

North of Hawaii

So, apparently on Monday, the Livingston Players, a group of random musicians from the county, are holding a Ukulele Jam. I'm not joking here people. A ukulele concert. I wasn't aware that anyone living north of Hawaii played the ukulele. Ah, Brighton. Always pretending to be someplace else...

Welcome to Livingston County

Hey, all. Living in a small town sometimes blows, so we're here to share our boredom. There's so much to do in Livingston County - you could go to the movies, you could...ah...uh...nope, that's pretty much it. To have real fun, you'd have to drive the twenty miles to Ann Arbor, or fifty to Detroit.

The county is almost perfectly square, which attests to the number of almost perfectly square people that populate it. It's also inhabited mostly by Caucasians (which is why my high school history teacher took to calling our town Whiten, as opposed to Brighton).

It's just a little hole in the road, and it gets pretty deep around here, so don't fall in. It could be hazardous to your health.