He's a fucking star!

A monumental event occurred recently in Freakdom: We all met Jeffree Star!


Sunday, Jeffree's "Fresh Meat" tour rolled into Mt. Clemens, and for only $12 per ticket, how could we say no? The shindig went down at The Hayloft Club; I've been to some pretty weird concert venues in my day, but this one might take the cake. The club was pretty small, so the stage was really tiny. Doors were at six (early!), but most of the duration of the show was the house DJ bleeping and blopping some random garble. There were two openers: some Cadaver dude (a hometown electronic rapper...he was actually pretty cool) and IT BOYS (a party rock band from Hollywood, whose lineup included Jeffree's keytar player...not kidding). They played about five songs each, then Shelby, Emily, and Ashley loitered around the merch area, snagging posters, shirts, EPs, and rubber bracelets with Jeffree-esque sayings on them. Abby and I held down the fort, AKA a table near the dance floor, where we swayed to the random bleeping and blopping from DJ Ian Divine (which made us both think of Mat), and swooned when Jeffree walked right by us in his winter boots and fluffy parka-like coat. It was cute.



By the time Jeffree's set rolled around, we were all super pumped from talking to some of the guys from IT BOYS, and we were totes ready to get fucked up and dance. There were only around fifty people in the whole venue, but it was really intimate and nice. Even though we were at the back of the dance floor (the width was only about three rows of people; we were in the fourth), we were really up close, but not close enough to shake Jeffree's hand. I don't remember the exact order of the setlist, but I know that this is what was played:



Prisoner
Beauty Killer
Ice Cream
In Love with a Killer
So Fierce
Get Away with Murder
Bitch, Please!
Lollipop Luxury
Fame and Riches, Rehab Bitches



After the set, he said he'd see us all back at the merch table for a meet and greet, so there was a mad scramble from the dance floor to the merch areas, which weren't far away. We got a relatively good position in line, and waited to meet "The Pink One". After a few signings and hugs (plus, he said my eyeshadow was cool!), we took a group picture to forever immortalize our first real adventure since Emily and Ashley joined the Freaks full-time.

Don't we all look fab in our Sunday club best?

'Tis the Season...

...To be obnoxious! As the Freaks celebrate our one-year anniversary, (side note: Shelby just snapped herself into a blanket and is flapping about) we're only asking for one gift: PLEASE GOD, SOMEONE GET US BETTER SOUND QUALITY!

And with that, here's "Twihard", episode two. Enjoy!

*insert dramatic music here*

Another teaser for our super special secret project, courtesy of Omegle.

Conversation One

Freaks: I'm Edward!

Stranger: Hi, Edward.

Freaks: I eat mountain lions

Freaks: and go emo

Freaks: because I'm Edward Cullen!

Stranger: Why do you let Bella cheat on you?

Freaks: Because she's a whore, and I'm Edward Cullen!

Stranger: She makes out with "Jacobo" and you don't do shit.

Stranger: Oh Edward...

Stranger: you had potential.

Freaks: I already knew that, because I'm Edward Cullen!
Freaks: And I don't shower!

Stranger: Is fucking you really like sticking a popsicle up a vag?

Freaks: Yes it is, because I have poor circulation, because I'm Edward Cullen!

Stranger: The delusional girls fancy you.

Freaks: At least someone does!

Stranger: Poor guy.

Freaks: No, I'm rich, white, and privileged, because I'm Edward Cullen!

Conversation Two

Stranger: Hey.

Freaks: I'm Bella Swan.

Freaks: My life sucks.

Stranger: EW, GO SCREW YOURSELF!

Conversation Three

Freaks: I'm Jacob Black.

Stranger: I'm leaving.

Conversation Four

Freaks: I'm Emmett Cullen.
Stranger: ME GUSTA!

Freaks: I GUSTA, too!

Stranger: MY FRIEND IS HIS COUSIN. I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING.

Freaks: Which one?

Stranger: KELLAN LUTZ.

Freaks: That guy's a dick.

Stranger: How so?

Freaks: That pussy doesn't like football.

Stranger: ASL?

Freaks: Age: 100

Freaks: Man

Freaks: Forks, WA

Stranger: I like older men.

Freaks: ME GUSTA!

Conversation Five

Freaks: I'm Rosalie Hale.

Freaks: ALL I WANT IS BABIES!

Stranger: Good for you.

Freaks: Emmett Cullen will make me babies!

Stranger: Like Twilight?

Stranger: LOL

Freaks: What?

Stranger: Nevermind

Freaks: Okay

Stranger: There's nothing to do and I'm on this site.
Stranger: What is wrong with me?

Freaks: You don't have enough money.

Freaks: Or babies.

Stranger: I don't want babies now.

Freaks: You don't want babies?!

Stranger: I do

Stranger: just not yet.

Freaks: Are you gay?

Stranger: I'm not.

Stranger: Not even close.

Freaks: Well you must be, because you don't want babies.

Stranger: I just said I do.

Freaks: Did you?

Stranger: Are you a dude?

Freaks: No!

Freaks: Sir, I am a female.

Freaks: How dare you imply that I have manly bits!

Stranger: You just want online babies?

Stranger: Get them in real life!

Freaks: YOU CAN GET BABIES ONLINE?!

Freaks: WHERE?!

Stranger: Um, eBay?

Freaks: I hear they're giving you babies like t-shirts in China.

Freaks: I should go get twelve!

Stranger: Are you Asian?

Freaks: No!

Freaks: I'm privileged and white, and I'll get whatever kind of babies I want!

Stranger: I'm white.

Stranger: My wife's Asian though.

Stranger: Filipino.

Freaks: My maid is Brazilian.

Stranger: You have a maid?

Stranger: Are you rich, or just lazy?

Freaks: I'm rich and privileged.

Freaks: I'm not lazy! I've gone to high school every day for the past one hundred years.

Freaks: Except when I'm eating mountain lions.

Stranger: You must be living in China, because they eat some weird things over there.

Freaks: No, I live in Forks, Washington!

Stranger: Wow, stop giving out your state.

Freaks: Why?

Freaks: I'm in no danger from the Internet!

Freaks: I can crush the Internet with my bare hands!

Stranger: Cool, do it!

Stranger: I've been to Seattle.

Stranger: It was cool, but I don't think I could live there.

Freaks: Same here; too much sun.

Stranger: How do you keep coming up with dumb Twilight?

Stranger: I hate Twilight!

Freaks: I love twilight - the sun is so beautiful.

Freaks: I wish I could eat apples.

Stranger: I'm bored.

Freaks: Go buy a new car.

Freaks: And some babies.

Stranger: I have a car.

Freaks: Get a new one.

Stranger: I don't need one.

Freaks: That's what I do when I'm bored.

Stranger: You get a car?

Freaks: I have seven.

Stranger: I thought you lived in Twilight.

Stranger: You can just jump.

Freaks: No, I live in Forks

Freaks: and jumping is so low class.

Stranger: I don't really care if I'm high or low class.

Stranger: Being high class is like being normal

Stranger: and normal isn't fun.

Freaks: That's why I sparkle.

Stranger: Why are you a bitch?

Stranger: Is it because you're rich and you think you're better than everyone?

Stranger: Why don't you give money to people who need it?

Freaks: I grow weary of this conversation.

Freaks: I shall go buy some new cars and babies.

Stranger: Yeah, go ahead.

Freaks: Have a good day, sir.

Have you figured it out yet? Here's a very big clue:

After lots of this,

there came this. Enjoy!

LAST MINUTE EDIT: It has come to my attention that this little project of ours is banned in Germany. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. That is all.

New Freaks in Town

This town is not only big enough for the three of us...NOW IT'S BIG ENOUGH FOR THE FIVE OF US!

That's right, there are two new Freaks in town: Emily (who has been promoted from Sometimes Freak), and Ashley (who actually isn't necessarily in town, but is a new Freak none-the-less).

Also, a glimpse from our new project:

You are still not prepared.

What's that sound?

Do you hear it? Someting big this way comes. I'd tell you what it is, but of course, I'd have to kill you.

But really: It's coming. You are not prepared.

Freak Transportation Units

Us Freaks go on a lot of adventures, but we have to have some way of getting to them! That's where the Freak Transportation Units come in. So far, there have been three FTUs, each with it's own distinct personality, points of awesomeness, and points of pure suckage. Lets meet them now, starting with...

DARREN

Darren, a '96 Ford Explorer, was passed down to Kari from her Aunt/Great Aunt/Grandma/I don't even know Dawn. When still in Dawn's possession, Darren spent almost every day driving back and forth from Detroit. It wasn't until Kari's 16th birthday when Darren was officially hers. Unfortunately, Kari didn't have her license yet, so Darren spent a good year sitting in the driveway doing nothing but rusting.

When Kari did get her license, it became apparent very quickly that Darren had many, MANY problems. For starters, only his front passenger door opened, if he sat in traffic for too long he would overheat, his AC was long gone, if you could get any of the windows to go up or down it was a miracle, the doors didn't properly lock, many new parts were needed, and he had a wasps nest in his driver's side mirror.

Eventually, some of Darren's problems got fixed: The wasps were killed, he got a new radiator, we could open all but one of the doors from the outside, and Kari could put all the windows up or down with no problem. Sure, you couldn't open the back doors from the outside and the AC still didn't work, but he was all us Freaks had, and we loved him.

Many great things happened in Darren, from almost rolling him getting off the highway to drop off Emily, to cutting across 5 lanes of traffic to get to a Tim Horton's on the way to meet Darren McCarty (whom Darren was named after). Plus, there were all those trips to school, the grocery store, the mall, and various friend's houses that all kind of blend together because the were so freaking many!! Whenever the Freaks had somewhere to go, more often than not Darren was our choice.

Oh, and Darren was a complete badass. He really WOULD eat your face if he got the chance. Whenever Kari started Darren, he would make this totally awesome "RRRAAAAWWWRRR" noise and scare away any small animals in the area. Too bad his badassery didn't stop him from being butt-raped when Kari and Shelby went to Toronto. All those CDs that hobo stole will be missed, especially the expensive imported ones...

Alas, as Darren got older, it became apparent that Kari couldn't keep him forever. So, she got Jack (who I'm going to do a separate post on) and now Darren is sitting in Kari's dad's front yard with a "FOR SALE" sign in his window, waiting for a batch of wanna-be Freaks to take him home. He's still the most badass SUV this world has ever seen.

(NOTE TO KARI: If any of this is wrong, feel free to change it)

TOSHI

I've already done a short little blurb about Toshi on my own blog (right HERE!), but I might as well do it properly here. A '95 red Ford Taurus, Toshi was originally owned by my mom. At the time, he was mostly used to drive me and my sister's lazy asses to school even though we could have walked. Many "fond" memories of my sister picking on me were made in the backseat. But then, this summer, things changed as I moved up to the front seat and Toshi became MY CAR!!

Granted, Toshi wasn't as beat up as Darren, but he had/has his fair share of problems. His AC has gone from not working, to working but smelling like cat pee, to not working again many times, his brakes have completely gone out before and now they make a weird grinding noise, one of his tires keeps going flat, and, though not really an actual problem, his speedometer only goes up to 85. I mean, Darren's went well over 100, COME ON TOSHI!!

But Toshi has something Darren only had for a short amount of time: a way to hook up an iPod or MP3 player to the radio. For a while, Darren had this thing we named Severus Snape that actually went through the radio (you had to set it to a certain station and everything) that we could hook our music listening devices up to. But Snape didn't last very long and we had to force ourselves to listen to the radio. But Toshi, he has something that you put in the cassette player, named Sigmund, that works better than Snape ever could. So we could blast all the Russian power ballads or East Bay Hardcore all we wanted in Toshi without having to worry about it being interrupted by "LOOK ME IN THE EYEBALL!!!"

Now, I have to admit Toshi's MS Paint drawing is a bit misleading. You might be thinking he's a total badass like Darren, but he isn't. He tries his best, though, he really does.

Since we've only been driving Toshi since early this summer, we haven't had that many Freak adventures in him, but the one's we've had so far have been pretty awesome. We took him to the AFI show at Verge in Milwaukee and the Kill Hannah show at the Orbit Room in Grand Rapids. And a few nights ago, when we had a sweet midnight rave in the underwear section of Walmart, Toshi was how we got there.

~~~

That's it for now on the Freak Transportation Units. I'll be making a new blog on Jack, Kari's new car, in a week or so once I get to know him. And by that, I mean get off my lazy ass and draw an MS Paint drawing of him. I mean, it's not that hard, why am I putting it off so much?! Oh, that reminds me, I think this is the first time I've put up one of my MS Paint drawings on the Freak's blog!! NON-ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES ALL AROUND!!

~Peanut

What will the freaks do next? YOU BE THE JUGDE. No, actually, you shouldn't be the judge. We don't have money to travel the world and do stupid shit everywhere. Maybe some day though. I feel so old typing on this keyboard, for like, the fucking blind. These letters on this key board have to be like a meter tell! God damn. Anyway, what's happening in Brighton High, you might ask. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. What's happening in the gay commity you might ask? Suicide. No, really, suicide. Links later.

-S