High and Mighty Coffee Men, Stupid Restaurant Hostesses, and Pole Shoes

Whew. Long title. Okay, so us Freaks of Suburbia have encountered some strange things and people in Livingston County (mainly in Brighton). For instance: Green Oak Subway Lady. The three of us were at Subway, getting dinner. I was ordering my dad's sub, and I asked for all of the vegetables except olives - my dad hates them with a burning passion. Subway Lady put olives on my dad's sub, and I was like, "Um, I asked for no olives," in an unusually polite manner. Subway lady then proceeded to argue with me about whether or not I asked for no olives (I had two witnesses here, people!), and topped it off by calling me a liar.

That was a few months ago. Our next crazy encounter happened a couple days after Shelby's birthday, when Abby and I were shopping for her presents, and we saw this, outside of Target.

I was all, "Is that a shoe?!" And Abby was like, "Wow, great Davey Havok moment." (see also: Is that your fucking shoe?) And then she realized that I was actually talking about a toddler's shoe on a pole in the parking lot of Target. Good times.

But our most recent strange encounters took place at Tim Horton's and Red Robin, respectively. Last Saturday, the three of us stopped off at Tim's to get our usuals: for Shelby and Abby, iced capps, and for me, a French vanilla cappuccino. Shelby ended up paying for her delicious frozen coffe all in quarters, and the guy behind Abby in line was glaring at her like change isn't a valid form of currency. And then, it turned out that Shelby was short like, twenty-eight cents, or something like that, and she asked me if I had any change. So high and mighty coffee man behind Abby decided to glare at me. Like it's my fault that my little sister is poor. So finally, another server opened up her line so Mr. Douche could go get his donut. Yes, he was waiting in line so impatiently for a donut. So of course, after he leaves, I open my fat mouth and go, "What a doucher! That guy NEEDED his donut, right damn now, or he was going to spontaneously combust and explode his uptight guts all over my cappuccino!"

Then, a couple hours later, we went up to Red Robin to drop off some money to our friend Kaylyn, another misfit like us, so she could buy tix for the upcoming HIM show in Pontiac on April 2. Kaylyn was on duty, hostessing at the restaurant, so we decided to make our visit short (Red Robin is always packed on Saturdays). We handed her our wad of cash, and she asked how much we each gave her. I told her that there was thirty-five each, and some other hostess girl that was behind Kaylyn was like, "Wait, there's thirty-five people coming in here?" And we were like, "Uh, no. Way to eavesdrop." 1) Listening in to other people's conversations when they don't involve you is stupid. 2) Especially if you're doing it wrong.

Also, no new updates on the Brighton Township murder last month. See, even the most exciting things in Livingston County quickly turn boring.