Phone Tapping

I've been throwing this idea around in my head for a while, and it's finally coming to fruition. A few reasons behind this idea before I begin:

1. Besides Twitter, texting is the main form of communication between the Freaks, since we're spread far and wide throughout the day, and we never know when genius will strike.

2. People are always really paranoid about other people reading their texts. Since we're outside the mainstream, we're the opposite - we want to share our private conversations with you.

3. We want you to experience how our minds actually work on a day-to-day basis, not just on blog days.

Because of the barrier between us, however, you guys might not get some of our inside jokes. Anything that might be unclear, I have hyperlinked to something else that may explain it better, SO DON'T SKIP OUT ON THE LINKS! *ahem*

This first conversation is between Abby and I, from February 20, 2011. For clarity, my texts will be represented by K, and Abby will be reperesented by P. Enjoy!

K: Are you watching Hockey Day in America (in America)?

P: Kinda, it's on the TV, but I'm on the computer.

K: Did you see that Dumbledore-looking guy playing pond hockey?

P: OMG, YES! Dumbledore lives, and he plays hockey!

K: YES. So, I totally nerded out and got Tetris and NHL GameCenter on my phone. I heart free apps, and the letter U.

P: NERD! So, since you don't have CBC, I need to tell you about Don Cherry's suit: black and yellow checkers. In other words, DONALD S. CHERRY IS A HUFFLEPUFF, BITCH!

K: I'm glad I didn't see it - I feel like I'd have nightmares.

P: Oh yeah, I forgot you're afraid of checkers. Pussy.

K: At least I don't have a crippling fear of bees. And Smith Puget.

P: Fear of bees and Smith Puget makes a lot more sense than fear of a geometric pattern. Oh, and pixels.

K: Fear of geometric patterns is legit - geometry is Satan's work.

P: Even triangles?

K: Triangles are a whole different bag of awesome.

P: No, triangles are the devil trying to tempt you into sin. Just be sure to keep the lurve of Jebus in your heart, and you can overcome those evil triangles.

K: LOLOL what. Jesus is so mainstream.

P: I spent a good chunk of the day looking through an anti-religious Tumblr, so that kind of bullshit was on my mind. And yes, Jesus is SO mainstream.

K: Trufax, man.

P: You should worship the flying spaghetti monster; he's still underground and he hasn't sold out to the man yet. And you can eat lots of spaghetti sandwiches.

K: I'd only be in it for the spaghetti sandwiches.

P: Yay! You can be just like Gary Busey!

K: Yay?

P: Coco will have his blimp follow you everywhere. EVERYWHERE.

K: It's always been my dream to be stalked by an obnoxious orange blimp.

P: Mine too! No wonder we're such good buddies - we have so much in common!

Part 2

Blogger was being so stupid I decided to post this as a whole new post.

~S (A)

A Lakeside Picnic

So we were going to go uptown (Howell) but we were in Kohl's and Shelby and I saw a few little kid cups and decided we were going to buy them and have a picnic. These are some pictures from us eating and our food, plates and stuff like that. Landon face Burp face

Duck face

Dessert

Eating 1

Eating 2

Eating 3

Our picnic basket

We straight up G!

Dressing

Spinach!

Our pretzels

Our Straight edge wine XXX

VEGGIE STRAWS!

Our orange

Pizza sauce

Our Apple Sauce

Our vegan chicken patties

Shelby's bun

My bun

Shelby's plate

Landon's plate

My Plate

Kari's plate

~S (A)

A new posting member

So, I have been a member since the beginning. This is just my first post that I am actually typing! I am the famous Shakemanzilla, also known by Shake or even Ansley. Like my twitter says I am pretty much like all the rest. So just remember, whatever you need to remember.



~S(A)

Good God Damn

When Kari reads these posts out loud, she sounds so fucking intense. Almost as intense as camping.
Like, honestly. It's almost as intense as Morgan Freeman narrating people taking a dump. I just wanna be like, "Oh my fucking God, dude! You should have narrated that Planet Earth shit, or whatever."
Did Morgan Freeman narrate those? I don't really watch tv, so I don't know. But really, it's so intense! I should record it and put it on the blog so EVERYONE can listen to it.

I feel like a stoner now.....

-S

Dinner in the Words of Ansley

Holy balls. It's been a while. But today, Freaks, we're debuting the Freaky Protege, Ansley. She dictated, and I (Kari) typed.

'So, we got to Mr. B's Tavern and walked in the "East Side". We walked all the way to the front and there was no hostess there. After five minutes, someone finally got there, asked how many of us there were, and we were all like, "five." She took us to a table and then she just walked away. Another five minutes later, she came back to ask us what we wanted to drink. We all told her what we wanted, then she took forever to get our drinks. I thought she might have been new, because she took so long; maybe she didn't know where to get them or something. She finally came back with our drinks and she left again for ten or fifteen minutes. When she came back to take our order, shit started getting real.

Kari ordered a large pizza with no cheese, pineapple, black olives, and green pepper. The waitress wrote it down and put her book away. Abby got halfway through her sentence, "I will have...", the waitress pulled her book back out, rolled her eyes, and sighed hugely. Abby finished her order of a half mandarin chicken salad, and the waitress smiled fakely and put her book away again, cutting off Emily's order. Again, the waitress rolled her eyes, sighed, and got the book back out. Emily ordered the kid's chicken tenders, and the waitress asked Emily which side she wanted. She asked for fries, and Kari suggested the seasoned fries, so Emily agreed. The waitress, who we just realized is named Dorian, walked away.

After, Kari, Shelby, and I took a trip to the little girls room. Little did we know, a girl followed us in there (she was drunk), and she took the stall next to me, but I thought it was Kari, so I started talking about monster farts. Kari was like, "You know I'm not the only one in here, right?" Oops.

When we got back to our table, we noticed that our food still wasn't there, but Emily's water was all over the floor. Apparently she was talking about something and swung her arm too wide. The water spilled all over the entrance of the restaurant. We were all too busy laughing to notice that a creepy old guy walked right through the giant puddle in his leather boots. A nice waiter named Bobby came by to clean up Emily's water, who apologized like, fifteen times.

About fifteen minutes after Emily spilled her water, our food came. Shelby, Kari, and I were really excited that our food was finally there (but we weren't very excited about Dorian's mustache). A little while later, she came back with Abby's food, but not Emily's.

We started eating, thinking that Emily's food would be out soon. A while later, Shelby finally said something about it, and the waitress said it would be out in two minutes. Two minutes later: Still nothing. Still later, Emily's food finally came out. Everyone could finally start eating together.

I thought our pizza smelled like chemicals and hand soap, and Kari didn't like that the sauce was spicy. I pushed my plate away, not even finishing my second piece. Shelby only had one, because she started feeling sick. I agreed, but nobody else felt the same way, even though everyone had some pizza. Emily and I switched food, because her fries were too hot (and not seasoned). Kari ate a fry too, but hers was still frozen.

We finished eating, and were hanging out, when the trivia guy started a new question. "I feel really uncomfortable asking this, but when is LGBT month celebrated in America? That's really weird." We all got super pissed about this, so we paid our bill and went over to yell at the trivia guy. He was all "derpdy derp" about it. Shelby asked why he was uncomfortable about asking the question. He skirted the issue, Shelby called him shallow, and and we mobbed away. I called him a doucher, and Shelby called him a dick.

We went back to the table to wait for Kari's change. We didn't even get it back until she asked Dorian about it. She threw a big fit about it, but she finally gave it back. Out of a forty-seven dollar bill, the waitress only got a three dollar tip.

We disappeared out the "East Side", never to return again.'

More Road Show

The third installment of the Freaks Road Show is now on YouTube! This time, Shelby and I are enjoying the sun in Ft. Lauderdale and Hollywood, FL! Journey inside our hotel room, hang out with us at the train station, watch some guy get arrested, join us for panini on the boardwalk, and venture into a kick-ass kava bar!

Kari and Shelby's Bogus Adventure 3