Herp Derp

Hi guys, sorry we haven't been on in like, for-fucking-ever. It makes me sad, for lack of a better word.
But seriously, what the fuck is up? I haven't really been doing anything for ever. So, I'm pretty much updating just to update. Oh, I'm going to the capital today. Lansing, hell yeah. Michigan State. Michigan.
But hopefully I'll update more, because I downloaded the app on my fancy new smart phone. I'm joining the ranks, guys! So, until next time.
-Shelby

Well then

Well no one has posted in a while. So I am going to.................Well that was fun. I am gonna go walk my dogs now. Kay bye.


~S (Ansley)

Phone Tapping

I've been throwing this idea around in my head for a while, and it's finally coming to fruition. A few reasons behind this idea before I begin:

1. Besides Twitter, texting is the main form of communication between the Freaks, since we're spread far and wide throughout the day, and we never know when genius will strike.

2. People are always really paranoid about other people reading their texts. Since we're outside the mainstream, we're the opposite - we want to share our private conversations with you.

3. We want you to experience how our minds actually work on a day-to-day basis, not just on blog days.

Because of the barrier between us, however, you guys might not get some of our inside jokes. Anything that might be unclear, I have hyperlinked to something else that may explain it better, SO DON'T SKIP OUT ON THE LINKS! *ahem*

This first conversation is between Abby and I, from February 20, 2011. For clarity, my texts will be represented by K, and Abby will be reperesented by P. Enjoy!

K: Are you watching Hockey Day in America (in America)?

P: Kinda, it's on the TV, but I'm on the computer.

K: Did you see that Dumbledore-looking guy playing pond hockey?

P: OMG, YES! Dumbledore lives, and he plays hockey!

K: YES. So, I totally nerded out and got Tetris and NHL GameCenter on my phone. I heart free apps, and the letter U.

P: NERD! So, since you don't have CBC, I need to tell you about Don Cherry's suit: black and yellow checkers. In other words, DONALD S. CHERRY IS A HUFFLEPUFF, BITCH!

K: I'm glad I didn't see it - I feel like I'd have nightmares.

P: Oh yeah, I forgot you're afraid of checkers. Pussy.

K: At least I don't have a crippling fear of bees. And Smith Puget.

P: Fear of bees and Smith Puget makes a lot more sense than fear of a geometric pattern. Oh, and pixels.

K: Fear of geometric patterns is legit - geometry is Satan's work.

P: Even triangles?

K: Triangles are a whole different bag of awesome.

P: No, triangles are the devil trying to tempt you into sin. Just be sure to keep the lurve of Jebus in your heart, and you can overcome those evil triangles.

K: LOLOL what. Jesus is so mainstream.

P: I spent a good chunk of the day looking through an anti-religious Tumblr, so that kind of bullshit was on my mind. And yes, Jesus is SO mainstream.

K: Trufax, man.

P: You should worship the flying spaghetti monster; he's still underground and he hasn't sold out to the man yet. And you can eat lots of spaghetti sandwiches.

K: I'd only be in it for the spaghetti sandwiches.

P: Yay! You can be just like Gary Busey!

K: Yay?

P: Coco will have his blimp follow you everywhere. EVERYWHERE.

K: It's always been my dream to be stalked by an obnoxious orange blimp.

P: Mine too! No wonder we're such good buddies - we have so much in common!

Part 2

Blogger was being so stupid I decided to post this as a whole new post.

~S (A)

A Lakeside Picnic

So we were going to go uptown (Howell) but we were in Kohl's and Shelby and I saw a few little kid cups and decided we were going to buy them and have a picnic. These are some pictures from us eating and our food, plates and stuff like that. Landon face Burp face

Duck face

Dessert

Eating 1

Eating 2

Eating 3

Our picnic basket

We straight up G!

Dressing

Spinach!

Our pretzels

Our Straight edge wine XXX

VEGGIE STRAWS!

Our orange

Pizza sauce

Our Apple Sauce

Our vegan chicken patties

Shelby's bun

My bun

Shelby's plate

Landon's plate

My Plate

Kari's plate

~S (A)

A new posting member

So, I have been a member since the beginning. This is just my first post that I am actually typing! I am the famous Shakemanzilla, also known by Shake or even Ansley. Like my twitter says I am pretty much like all the rest. So just remember, whatever you need to remember.



~S(A)

Good God Damn

When Kari reads these posts out loud, she sounds so fucking intense. Almost as intense as camping.
Like, honestly. It's almost as intense as Morgan Freeman narrating people taking a dump. I just wanna be like, "Oh my fucking God, dude! You should have narrated that Planet Earth shit, or whatever."
Did Morgan Freeman narrate those? I don't really watch tv, so I don't know. But really, it's so intense! I should record it and put it on the blog so EVERYONE can listen to it.

I feel like a stoner now.....

-S

Dinner in the Words of Ansley

Holy balls. It's been a while. But today, Freaks, we're debuting the Freaky Protege, Ansley. She dictated, and I (Kari) typed.

'So, we got to Mr. B's Tavern and walked in the "East Side". We walked all the way to the front and there was no hostess there. After five minutes, someone finally got there, asked how many of us there were, and we were all like, "five." She took us to a table and then she just walked away. Another five minutes later, she came back to ask us what we wanted to drink. We all told her what we wanted, then she took forever to get our drinks. I thought she might have been new, because she took so long; maybe she didn't know where to get them or something. She finally came back with our drinks and she left again for ten or fifteen minutes. When she came back to take our order, shit started getting real.

Kari ordered a large pizza with no cheese, pineapple, black olives, and green pepper. The waitress wrote it down and put her book away. Abby got halfway through her sentence, "I will have...", the waitress pulled her book back out, rolled her eyes, and sighed hugely. Abby finished her order of a half mandarin chicken salad, and the waitress smiled fakely and put her book away again, cutting off Emily's order. Again, the waitress rolled her eyes, sighed, and got the book back out. Emily ordered the kid's chicken tenders, and the waitress asked Emily which side she wanted. She asked for fries, and Kari suggested the seasoned fries, so Emily agreed. The waitress, who we just realized is named Dorian, walked away.

After, Kari, Shelby, and I took a trip to the little girls room. Little did we know, a girl followed us in there (she was drunk), and she took the stall next to me, but I thought it was Kari, so I started talking about monster farts. Kari was like, "You know I'm not the only one in here, right?" Oops.

When we got back to our table, we noticed that our food still wasn't there, but Emily's water was all over the floor. Apparently she was talking about something and swung her arm too wide. The water spilled all over the entrance of the restaurant. We were all too busy laughing to notice that a creepy old guy walked right through the giant puddle in his leather boots. A nice waiter named Bobby came by to clean up Emily's water, who apologized like, fifteen times.

About fifteen minutes after Emily spilled her water, our food came. Shelby, Kari, and I were really excited that our food was finally there (but we weren't very excited about Dorian's mustache). A little while later, she came back with Abby's food, but not Emily's.

We started eating, thinking that Emily's food would be out soon. A while later, Shelby finally said something about it, and the waitress said it would be out in two minutes. Two minutes later: Still nothing. Still later, Emily's food finally came out. Everyone could finally start eating together.

I thought our pizza smelled like chemicals and hand soap, and Kari didn't like that the sauce was spicy. I pushed my plate away, not even finishing my second piece. Shelby only had one, because she started feeling sick. I agreed, but nobody else felt the same way, even though everyone had some pizza. Emily and I switched food, because her fries were too hot (and not seasoned). Kari ate a fry too, but hers was still frozen.

We finished eating, and were hanging out, when the trivia guy started a new question. "I feel really uncomfortable asking this, but when is LGBT month celebrated in America? That's really weird." We all got super pissed about this, so we paid our bill and went over to yell at the trivia guy. He was all "derpdy derp" about it. Shelby asked why he was uncomfortable about asking the question. He skirted the issue, Shelby called him shallow, and and we mobbed away. I called him a doucher, and Shelby called him a dick.

We went back to the table to wait for Kari's change. We didn't even get it back until she asked Dorian about it. She threw a big fit about it, but she finally gave it back. Out of a forty-seven dollar bill, the waitress only got a three dollar tip.

We disappeared out the "East Side", never to return again.'

More Road Show

The third installment of the Freaks Road Show is now on YouTube! This time, Shelby and I are enjoying the sun in Ft. Lauderdale and Hollywood, FL! Journey inside our hotel room, hang out with us at the train station, watch some guy get arrested, join us for panini on the boardwalk, and venture into a kick-ass kava bar!

Kari and Shelby's Bogus Adventure 3

Home Sweet Home?

Everybody sing-a-long!

Home, home in Detroit
Where the Wings and the Tigers play
Where seldom is heard
An encouraging word
And the skies are grey all day!

Okay, enough of that. If you didn't gather from that little ditty, Shelby and I are home from vacation (early, I might add), and now we've got fun things to share! But first, some serious business.

I want to make the Freaks of Suburbia more than just a hole in the road (see what I did there?, and I feel like the blog and the YouTube aren't enough. We've been checking our stats, and we know that readers exist out there, but where are you all? We started out this thing to chronicle the shenanigans we pull in our vile town, but it became so much more. We want it to be more interactive, because we know that there are other Freaks out there who are unhappy with their surroundings, situations, and the mainstream culture that tries to suck us in.

On that note, we've taken one more step to put ourselves further into Interweb Land: I set up a joint Twitter account that all of us will be using to update, formulate, tease, and spew randomness/wisdom/comedy to all of you. Please, if you have a Twitter, follow us @FoSTwits. I promise we won't disappoint.

Shelby and I have also been tossing about ideas like Formspring for Q and A sessions, interviews, and a video tour of Suburbia. I've also been thinking about a Facebook page, and a tumblr link-up. Let us know what you guys want to see the Freaks expand to in the future by leaving a comment here or on our YouTube, or you can tweet reply us @FoSTwits (make sure you tag #future). You can even e-mail the Freaks directly at antersmunter@gmail.com, though that might have a more prolonged response time. We also have a VYou account, so you can send questions/comments/concerns to us, and hopefully we'll figure out how to respond in a timely fashion.

Now for the fun part: Shelby and I did a video series for our vacation. Parts 1 and 2 are up now for your viewing pleasure on the Freaks of Suburbia YouTube channel. Here are the links:
Part 1
Part 2

Enjoy, and thanks for enduring my serious business rant. Please please PLEASE leave feedback through one of our various accounts!

From Florida With Love

As you may know, Kari and I have taken a little break from Freaking up Brighton. And, if you didn't know, well now you do.

As you can tell from the title of this post, we went to Florida, and well, if you couldn't tell, then you need some help. Or you just need to learn how to read.

I got the best footage of some guy getting arrested on the Tri Rails, and I might try to make it into a Dubstep, though I don't see it happening. Maybe though.

Time for pictures from our trip.









That's all I feel like posting for now, because I'm feeling a bit lazy today. And that's the vampire cat's piano pjams.
-S

Merry Happy

As mentioned previously by yours truly, the Freaks are celebrating our one year anniversary this month. Coupled with the holidays, Shelby and I decided to do something special to reminisce about our first documented year in Suburbia. I give you: The Twelve Months of Freakdom.

In the first month of existence, the Freaks gave to you: a ukulele and a LEMUR.

In the second month of existence, the Freaks gave to you: two mocha lattes, a ukulele and a LEMUR.

In the third month of existence, the Freaks gave to you: three murdered ladies, two mocha lattes, a ukulele and a LEMUR.

In the fourth month of existence, the Freaks gave to you: four knocking Mormons, three murdered ladies, two mocha lattes, a ukulele and a LEMUR.

In the fifth month of existence, the Freaks gave to you: five pole shoes, four knocking Mormons, three murdered ladies, two mocha lattes, a ukulele and a LEMUR.

In the sixth month of existence, the Freaks gave to you: six thumping vans, five pole shoes, four knocking Mormons, three murdered ladies, two mocha lattes, a ukulele and a LEMUR.

In the seventh month of existence, the Freaks gave to you: seven yapping Tweeks, six thumping vans, five pole shoes, four knocking Mormons, three murdered ladies, two mocha lattes, a ukulele and a LEMUR.

In the eighth month of existence, the Freaks gave to you: eight ugly dresses, seven yapping Tweeks, six thumping vans, five pole shoes, four knocking Mormons, three murdered ladies, two mocha lattes, a ukulele and a LEMUR.

In the ninth month of existence, the Freaks gave to you: nine "Inception" mindfucks, eight ugly dresses, seven yapping Tweeks, six thumping vans, five pole shoes, four knocking Mormons, three murdered ladies, two mocha lattes, a ukulele and a LEMUR.

In the tenth month of existence the Freaks gave to you: ten drunken locksmiths, nine "Inception" mindfucks, eight ugly dresses, seven yapping Tweeks, six thumping vans, five pole shoes, four knocking Mormons, three murdered ladies, two mocha lattes, a ukulele and a LEMUR.

In the eleventh month of existence, the Freaks gave to you: eleven vrooming Jacks, ten drunken locksmiths, nine "Inception" mindfucks, eight ugly dresses, seven yapping Tweeks, six thumping vans, five pole shoes, four knocking Mormons, three murdered ladies, two mocha lattes, a ukulele and a LEMUR.

In the twelfth month of existence, the Freaks gave to you: twelve Edward Cullens, eleven vrooming Jacks, ten drunken locksmiths, nine "Inception" mindfucks, eight ugly dresses, seven yapping Tweeks, six thumping vans, five pole shoes, four knocking Mormons, three murdered ladies, two mocha lattes, a ukulele and a LEMUR.

Whew. That's a lot in one year. Well, from all of us here in Suburbia to all of you out there, Merry Happy! We can't wait to see what's in store for our next twelve months of existence...

Welcome to the Wasteland

Fri, 12/10/10

Welcome to the Wasteland

Kari, Shelby, Abby and I got our tickets at the door at the Orbit Room. We stood outside in near freezing weather to see the band 'Bad City.' After 20-30 minutes of anxiously waiting and freezing the doors finally opened 20 or so minutes after they were listed on the ticket. It was well worth it.

While we were waiting Shelby and I walked over to the restrooms and we noticed Josh (lead singer of Bad City) was walking about, Kari and Abby also saw him over by the bar. We were waiting in the crowd just waiting for Bad City to come up on stage... and becoming a bit impatient but eventually the show started.

Ok, so here is the setlist:

Look Out!

Showdown in Central Park

Take Me for a Ride *

Do You Believe in Rock n Roll

Wildlife

If I missed any than sorry... memory is short. Josh at the time wasn't feeling well (Sorry you didn't feel well Josh!)

*Josh messed up the setlist at some point because he called "Take Me for a Ride" Do You Believe in Rock n Roll. (Change in the setlist maybe? or maybe he forgot)

Videos to come soon (the ones I took on Abby's camera.) So after the show we went to the merch table and we were the first ones there. Josh was there (surprise!) but he was on the phone. He got off the phone and quickly apologized. Then Kari said she was sad that they didn't play 'Paul Stanley' and Josh was like 'you know that song?' Kari was like 'I have the record...' He thought it was cool.

He shook our hands and got to know our names. We bought some sherts (lol Kari) and hung back for a while. So then Abby and Kari went to get water so Kari put on the Bad City shirt, then she threw her shirt back at Shelby. Then Kari stepped on this guy's foot on accident and bumped into him and spilled some of his beer, some landing on Kari. Then he stood there for a while with a super pissed off look on his face then he droped his beer, flipped her off and walked away.

FFFFUUUUUUUU

Abby then went to go back to get a water and Kari came back to chill with Shelby and I. Abby came back and we sat on a counter thing infront of the merch table for a while. Eventually Josh came over and hung out with us. He was super nice he was talking about him having to wear a beanie for people to like him. He sat in the middle of the floor and we were told we couldn't be sitting there because drunk people were walking through.

I got him to sign my shirt and it literally says 'Something Crazy!!! MUAH

& here is the proof:

Josh gave us all hugs because he didn't know if we were still going to be there when he got back, then left to go hang out in the bands room so we were left just talking for a while amongst ourselves.. the band waved at Kari and Abby, Shelby and I were over at the merch table.. until he came back and we went out with him to their tour van. Kari I think was trying to scare Josh by saying that I forgot the keys to her car in the venue (we didn't have access back in).

We had the band sign a CD for Emily, who was not able to make it to the show that night. Josh signed it 'Merry Christmas' while singing it. =)

We took a group photo... 3 actually.

The first one, is one I actually think is my favorite out of them all.

Then there is the second one:

The third and final one we took with them seemed to be a fail.

So if you get the chance, I would suggest you check them out:

badcitymusic.com

-Z(A)

Oh My Goodness

Thank you to all the people who have read our blog! Even if you're just glanced at it or whatever. Even if you just looked at it and went, "What. The. Fuck." don't worry, I do that everytime I look in the mirror. Hope everyone is enjoying the snow, or if not, I hope you're enjoying your December. Or maybe you aren't enjoying your December, if you aren't, man, that really sucks. I'm enjoying my December, I think it's the best mouth of my life, so far. Anyways, stay classy world.

-S

He's a fucking star!

A monumental event occurred recently in Freakdom: We all met Jeffree Star!


Sunday, Jeffree's "Fresh Meat" tour rolled into Mt. Clemens, and for only $12 per ticket, how could we say no? The shindig went down at The Hayloft Club; I've been to some pretty weird concert venues in my day, but this one might take the cake. The club was pretty small, so the stage was really tiny. Doors were at six (early!), but most of the duration of the show was the house DJ bleeping and blopping some random garble. There were two openers: some Cadaver dude (a hometown electronic rapper...he was actually pretty cool) and IT BOYS (a party rock band from Hollywood, whose lineup included Jeffree's keytar player...not kidding). They played about five songs each, then Shelby, Emily, and Ashley loitered around the merch area, snagging posters, shirts, EPs, and rubber bracelets with Jeffree-esque sayings on them. Abby and I held down the fort, AKA a table near the dance floor, where we swayed to the random bleeping and blopping from DJ Ian Divine (which made us both think of Mat), and swooned when Jeffree walked right by us in his winter boots and fluffy parka-like coat. It was cute.



By the time Jeffree's set rolled around, we were all super pumped from talking to some of the guys from IT BOYS, and we were totes ready to get fucked up and dance. There were only around fifty people in the whole venue, but it was really intimate and nice. Even though we were at the back of the dance floor (the width was only about three rows of people; we were in the fourth), we were really up close, but not close enough to shake Jeffree's hand. I don't remember the exact order of the setlist, but I know that this is what was played:



Prisoner
Beauty Killer
Ice Cream
In Love with a Killer
So Fierce
Get Away with Murder
Bitch, Please!
Lollipop Luxury
Fame and Riches, Rehab Bitches



After the set, he said he'd see us all back at the merch table for a meet and greet, so there was a mad scramble from the dance floor to the merch areas, which weren't far away. We got a relatively good position in line, and waited to meet "The Pink One". After a few signings and hugs (plus, he said my eyeshadow was cool!), we took a group picture to forever immortalize our first real adventure since Emily and Ashley joined the Freaks full-time.

Don't we all look fab in our Sunday club best?

'Tis the Season...

...To be obnoxious! As the Freaks celebrate our one-year anniversary, (side note: Shelby just snapped herself into a blanket and is flapping about) we're only asking for one gift: PLEASE GOD, SOMEONE GET US BETTER SOUND QUALITY!

And with that, here's "Twihard", episode two. Enjoy!

*insert dramatic music here*

Another teaser for our super special secret project, courtesy of Omegle.

Conversation One

Freaks: I'm Edward!

Stranger: Hi, Edward.

Freaks: I eat mountain lions

Freaks: and go emo

Freaks: because I'm Edward Cullen!

Stranger: Why do you let Bella cheat on you?

Freaks: Because she's a whore, and I'm Edward Cullen!

Stranger: She makes out with "Jacobo" and you don't do shit.

Stranger: Oh Edward...

Stranger: you had potential.

Freaks: I already knew that, because I'm Edward Cullen!
Freaks: And I don't shower!

Stranger: Is fucking you really like sticking a popsicle up a vag?

Freaks: Yes it is, because I have poor circulation, because I'm Edward Cullen!

Stranger: The delusional girls fancy you.

Freaks: At least someone does!

Stranger: Poor guy.

Freaks: No, I'm rich, white, and privileged, because I'm Edward Cullen!

Conversation Two

Stranger: Hey.

Freaks: I'm Bella Swan.

Freaks: My life sucks.

Stranger: EW, GO SCREW YOURSELF!

Conversation Three

Freaks: I'm Jacob Black.

Stranger: I'm leaving.

Conversation Four

Freaks: I'm Emmett Cullen.
Stranger: ME GUSTA!

Freaks: I GUSTA, too!

Stranger: MY FRIEND IS HIS COUSIN. I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING.

Freaks: Which one?

Stranger: KELLAN LUTZ.

Freaks: That guy's a dick.

Stranger: How so?

Freaks: That pussy doesn't like football.

Stranger: ASL?

Freaks: Age: 100

Freaks: Man

Freaks: Forks, WA

Stranger: I like older men.

Freaks: ME GUSTA!

Conversation Five

Freaks: I'm Rosalie Hale.

Freaks: ALL I WANT IS BABIES!

Stranger: Good for you.

Freaks: Emmett Cullen will make me babies!

Stranger: Like Twilight?

Stranger: LOL

Freaks: What?

Stranger: Nevermind

Freaks: Okay

Stranger: There's nothing to do and I'm on this site.
Stranger: What is wrong with me?

Freaks: You don't have enough money.

Freaks: Or babies.

Stranger: I don't want babies now.

Freaks: You don't want babies?!

Stranger: I do

Stranger: just not yet.

Freaks: Are you gay?

Stranger: I'm not.

Stranger: Not even close.

Freaks: Well you must be, because you don't want babies.

Stranger: I just said I do.

Freaks: Did you?

Stranger: Are you a dude?

Freaks: No!

Freaks: Sir, I am a female.

Freaks: How dare you imply that I have manly bits!

Stranger: You just want online babies?

Stranger: Get them in real life!

Freaks: YOU CAN GET BABIES ONLINE?!

Freaks: WHERE?!

Stranger: Um, eBay?

Freaks: I hear they're giving you babies like t-shirts in China.

Freaks: I should go get twelve!

Stranger: Are you Asian?

Freaks: No!

Freaks: I'm privileged and white, and I'll get whatever kind of babies I want!

Stranger: I'm white.

Stranger: My wife's Asian though.

Stranger: Filipino.

Freaks: My maid is Brazilian.

Stranger: You have a maid?

Stranger: Are you rich, or just lazy?

Freaks: I'm rich and privileged.

Freaks: I'm not lazy! I've gone to high school every day for the past one hundred years.

Freaks: Except when I'm eating mountain lions.

Stranger: You must be living in China, because they eat some weird things over there.

Freaks: No, I live in Forks, Washington!

Stranger: Wow, stop giving out your state.

Freaks: Why?

Freaks: I'm in no danger from the Internet!

Freaks: I can crush the Internet with my bare hands!

Stranger: Cool, do it!

Stranger: I've been to Seattle.

Stranger: It was cool, but I don't think I could live there.

Freaks: Same here; too much sun.

Stranger: How do you keep coming up with dumb Twilight?

Stranger: I hate Twilight!

Freaks: I love twilight - the sun is so beautiful.

Freaks: I wish I could eat apples.

Stranger: I'm bored.

Freaks: Go buy a new car.

Freaks: And some babies.

Stranger: I have a car.

Freaks: Get a new one.

Stranger: I don't need one.

Freaks: That's what I do when I'm bored.

Stranger: You get a car?

Freaks: I have seven.

Stranger: I thought you lived in Twilight.

Stranger: You can just jump.

Freaks: No, I live in Forks

Freaks: and jumping is so low class.

Stranger: I don't really care if I'm high or low class.

Stranger: Being high class is like being normal

Stranger: and normal isn't fun.

Freaks: That's why I sparkle.

Stranger: Why are you a bitch?

Stranger: Is it because you're rich and you think you're better than everyone?

Stranger: Why don't you give money to people who need it?

Freaks: I grow weary of this conversation.

Freaks: I shall go buy some new cars and babies.

Stranger: Yeah, go ahead.

Freaks: Have a good day, sir.

Have you figured it out yet? Here's a very big clue:

After lots of this,

there came this. Enjoy!

LAST MINUTE EDIT: It has come to my attention that this little project of ours is banned in Germany. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. That is all.

New Freaks in Town

This town is not only big enough for the three of us...NOW IT'S BIG ENOUGH FOR THE FIVE OF US!

That's right, there are two new Freaks in town: Emily (who has been promoted from Sometimes Freak), and Ashley (who actually isn't necessarily in town, but is a new Freak none-the-less).

Also, a glimpse from our new project:

You are still not prepared.

What's that sound?

Do you hear it? Someting big this way comes. I'd tell you what it is, but of course, I'd have to kill you.

But really: It's coming. You are not prepared.